Like the indestructible constructs it features, Terminator seems to be a franchise that just won’t die. The Governator appears only as a cameo in “Terminator Salvation”, which systematically destroys at least half the reason for the series’ existence. “Salvation” still serves as a passable action movie, but the horrendous script and too-serious tone render the movie almost unlistenable when the action stops.
“Salvation”
opens in 2003 with the execution of Marcus Wright (Sam Worthington).
Before he’s executed, he agrees to donate his body to science, raggedly
foreshadowing what we’ve already suspected from the trailers. (”He
thinks he’s human.”)
Flash-forward to 2018 during the war of the machines, just before John Connor’s rise to leadership of the human resistance. Connor (Christian Bale, miles away from Batman) is sent out on a mission to sabotage the robot-corp Skynet’s operations. Instead, he uncovers Skynet’s plot to kidnap humans to make a new line of Terminators.
In Los Angeles, Marcus Wright awakes to scenes of urban holocaust and meets Kyle Reese (Anton Yelchin, also known as Chekov in this season’s “Star Trek”). Reese is meant to be John Connor’s father. Reese helps Wright into the new decade, but will not follow Wright to Skynet for a flimsily-constructed revenge quest. Reese and Wright don’t get to resolve this conflict before Reese is kidnapped by Skynet as part of the Terminator R&D project.
Rating:
Starring: Christian Bale, Sam Worthington
Directed by: McG
Written by: John D. Brancato, Michael Ferris
Through a series of coincidental events and single-use supporting characters, Connor meets Wright, and Wright discovers he’s the first of the new hybrid Terminator line. Connor is looking for his father; Wright knows where Reese is. Dismissed by the token submarine military authority, Connor rebels and turns to Wright for help rescuing Reese from Skynet.
The plot is rather moth-eaten, and sports many lines that will make audiences groan aloud (what else can we expect from the team that brought us “Primeval” and “Catwoman”?). Fortunately, most of the time is spent on action sequences, which are mostly stunning. If you can suspend your disbelief to synchronous orbit and ignore basic physical properties, you can enjoy a good half of the movie. The giant robot scene is particularly nice, eschewing jiggly-cam and fast editing for tracking shots that jettison Reese and Wright from an exploding gas station to a car chase, an aircraft chase, and eventually, the bottom of the a river gorge.
The film is predictably cinematic, with half of its scenes taking place in the pouring rain. The palette is alternately dusty and chrome, accented with lots of red. Skynet seems particularly fond of open flames, hanging wires, and strobelights in all of their facilities - perhaps this is the robot equivalent of New Colonial decorating. They even feature such amenities as unsecured computer terminals in standing water, open vats of molten steel, and nuclear power sources, all in keeping with the robot lifestyle choices we know from some of the previous Terminator movies.
The
questionable choices aren’t limited to Skynet’s retinue. Humans make
some head-scratchers too, like not using the anti-robot codes to
protect their own facility once Connor has developed them. Plot holes
have ever been the bane of action movies, but many manage to patch them
with efficiency. “Salvation” seems too wrapped up in its Serious
Business to see its own security breaches.
The casting and acting don’t help. It’s hard to tell who to blame for this - the actors or the director McG (of “Charlie’s Angels” and “We Are Marshall” fame). Bale screams half of his lines in a way reminiscent of his now infamous tirade. He shares a very awkward face-off with Worthington that was meant to be a dramatic turning point, but read more like two bulldogs barking at each other from the ends of choke chains: ineffectual.
For your own Salvation, I recommend waiting for a DVD release so that you can turn the sound off and provide your own industrial or hard-rock soundtrack, a-la Pink Floyd with the Wizard of Oz. You may also want to leave the movie right after Connor escapes from Skynet. The last five minutes of the movie were apparently covered with processed cheese food product, and making an early escape may help you retain the movie’s good qualities instead of losing them in the ensuing goo-massacre.
Originally posted to http://pixielate.com/booksmovies/?p=145
Instead of doing a traditional review of Wolverine, I thought I’d highlight my feelings for this piece of work by writing a drinking game.
TAKE 1 DRINK:
- Each time claws or swords emerge from someone’s skin in slow motion
- Each time a new mutant is introduced
- Each time an exotic locale is revealed in an an aerial shot.
- Whenever an item is shown for the sole purpose of re-enforcing something that was said in dialog just seconds before.
- Whenever an item is shown for the sole purpose of destroying it
- Whenever Wolverine accidentally destroys something or injures someone
- Each time a non-Wolverine mutant says something snarky
- Each time a character implies or discusses Wolverine being “an animal”
LADIES ONLY: TAKE 2 DRINKS
- Each time Hugh Jackman is naked or partially naked
TAKE 2 DRINKS:
- Whenever Wolverine walks away from a combat when he totally had an opportunity to kill his foe
- Whenever a mutant engages in solo combat, even though other mutants are around to help him/her
- Whenever the moon is mentioned or shown
- Whenever you see an ax
POUR DRINKS FOR EVERYONE ELSE
- When a character loses in combat, even though they had the tools/knowledge to prevent a loss
- When a character *realizes* they had the knowledge to prevent a combat loss
DRINK YOUR NEIGHBOR’S DRINK
- Whenever Wolverine switches sides (or the sides switch for him)
- Each time Wolverine shouts “NOOOOO!” “ARGHHH!” “RAWRRR!” or another one-syllable expletive
