This is another one of those dramatic, star-studded movies with a story that people will go see to go feel smart about themselves. I know, because in nearly every row of the movie theatre, there was a stupid old biddy triumphantly repeating the plot as it happened.
In Robert DeNiro's directing debut, Matt Damon is swept away by his connections and station to be a CIA director. And, true to more realistic CIA stories, this is not always a dramatic, romantic thing. The main character is not a passionate spy, and the strangest conspiracy they deal with is the Bay of Pigs.
As such, The Good Shepherd is actually a pretty dry movie. Damon's character is a workaholic, and is completely stoic. So all the events surrounding him are handled with quiet calculation - so much so that you have the distinct impression that life is happening to him, rather than because of him, but of course this isn't really true.
Apparently, DeNiro spent nearly 8 years trying to get this movie picked up, and I can see why. Things don't really become engaging until the last 1/3 of the movie, where the main character's neglected personal life explodes onto him. But even then, the content is just shy of ridiculous Alias-worthy antics that don't match the tone of the rest of the movie at all. And the first 2/3 of the movie were so heady that they would've been best served as a documentary, in my opinion.
And by thirds, I mean that the movie was three hours long.
How many of the rest of you are going to see Matt Damon and Angelina Jolie have sex? Well, Angelina is really stunning in her role as a very predatory tigress turned shunned wife. And of course, all of the supporting cast is amazing, but none of them are given enough face time. Poor Matt Damon might have had to take sedatives to retain his stony, expressionless watching for the whole movie. Damon's character eventually has a son, and his age is pretty unbelieveable - just because you're dorky looking does not make you pass for a teenager. And, just because you put a hat on Matt Damon and some wrinkles on Angelina Jolie does not make them 40-year-old parents.
To its great credit, this is not another spy movie. But unfortunately, that also makes it a very boring one. I wouldn't prefer a spy-caper movie, but I think there is some way this could've been delivered - without corrupting the content - in under three hours.
In short, I didn't like it. The pacing was fine, the story was interesting, the acting was decent if a little overwrought at times. But there's something really ironic in a Hollywood movie about how US opulence funds African suffering. It's the Charity Case Of The Day, and though the intention may be completely honest and noble, it's still sort of biting the hand that feeds it.
The irony doesn't stop at the basic philosophy, either. There is a great deal of non-political, "war is pain" sentiment - yet when the protagonists are fighting back, or even striking first, it's glorified. There are lots of inconsistencies in how the characters act, and in the end, the line between an action movie and a political piece is too blurred.
The movie's also (sort of) several years too late. The country where this takes place - Sierra Leone - is no longer in full-scale civil war, and industry protest of conflict diamonds was put in place years ago. This doesn't mean that the problem doesn't still exist, it's just being mitigated already.
Bully
There's something really satisfying about shoving people around in a video game after I've been at the mall attempting some shopping during the holidays. I am not a particularly nice person. I have a wildly assertive side that I need to keep in check all day long, and a game like this is a really good release from that.
For example -
Teacher: "Why aren't you in your uniform, young man!?"
Lauren (to game, as Jimmy): "Because I just got here, DICK."
Kid: "Where'd you get your clothes, a thrift store?"
Lauren (to game, as Jimmy): "What did you say to me? Come back here and say that to my face. *shove*"
If you can appreciate the concept, there's more for you in Bully than just going around beating up everyone you want to. It's a fantastic twist to the classic adventure game. There are tons of quests and earnable rewards, a move system that becomes increasingly complex as you gain new tools and skills, faction points to earn with geeks, preps, jocks and fellow bullies, and much more. You're not wholly bound to a major plot or going to classes, so you are free to roam the school and city, as long as you're not caught truant or violating curfew. There are puzzle aspects to getting your quests done, and lots of mini-games.
Apocalypto
All questions of antisemitism aside, the movie's always intrigued me, so I thought I'd go and see it and draw my own conclusions. (I didn't boycott War of the Worlds just because Tom Cruise started acting dippy. I do make a point of not listening to music or watching movies that have been compromised by the artist's stupid opinions, but uh, this isn't really one of them. Not on the point of antisemitism, anyway.)
At 2:30 long, the movie actually went by very quickly, and was a great adventure-type story. The scenery, the visuals of course were beautiful. The culture strange and intriguing. But in terms of content, it was very shallow. One could also make the criticism that the whole thing is a little too overblown, but I feel it's right on the edge of that.
My biggest problem with the movie is the gratuitous gore. Not even the violence, but the gore. See, we're all familiar with the old days, when men fell off cliffs and you didn't have to see them dashed upon the bottom to know what happens and feel their pain. But in Apocalypto, we're not spared the details, and there's probably a full half-hour of material that could've been cut from the movie for excessiveness. The result was an extremely annoying non-stop chorus of "oooch!" and "arghs!" from the audience. A few couples even got up and left. But if you can make it through the very first scene of the movie - where a tribesman chokes down raw pig testacles - you'll probably be able to make it through the rest.
There were even a few scenes that had truly Kill-Bill-worthy blood-spurting scenes, so ridiculous that people in the audience were laughing. And I have to wonder from the way this movie was marketed and the content of the story - is that really what Mr. Gibson was going for? People said "well sure, Passion of the Christ was violent..." (and at that point I thought Mel had gone off the deep end anyway) "...and Braveheart was violent" (occasionally, and not without its place, which is why it was so striking when it happened). If the trend continues, we'll see the next Gibson flick surpass Snakes on a Plane for its ridiculous gory content.
So much of this felt like a trip through a deranged, lonely 13 year old boy's homeroom notebook scribbles. If that half hour could've been replaced with deeper, less-rushed backstory or more opportunities for the actors to like...ACT, it could've passed the "decent, I guess" grade into "rather good." As it is, Apocalypto will be greeted with only pass/fail grades by its viewers.
...And on another note, there is a lot of controversy from the Maya descendants over this movie and the way the culture was portrayed. So, I strongly encourage anyone who watches this to read what you can. There's really no evidence either way that the Maya did all these horrible things. But, there are lots of things they do know about how Mayas lived that were glossed over or just plain wrong in the movie.
Children of Mana is the latest Squenix addition to a long line of Mana RPG/adventure games that have moved into the Nintendo handheld world - this one being a game for the DS. And out of all the mana games I've played, it is by far the worst, and possibly one of the worst RPG games I've played. From story to game mechanics, this is almost a complete lemon, so if you dislike negative reviews, just skip this. I'll try and summarize the paragraphs so you can get my main points without having to read my entire tirade.
Complete lack of utilization for the DS hardware.
The first thing I noticed about the game is the complete lack of stylus play, and the poor utilization of the dual-screen system. There's all this fantastic hardware for DS, and most of the games I've played have used it to some good effect, but CoM almost completely ignores it, opting to use one screen for maps/status when in most cases, your maps and status aren't really needed. After the opening screen, the stylus is not used at all. In fact, I have to wonder why they even put that one touch-screen in there.
Complete lack of character story.
Even in the last GBA handheld installment of the series, the story had depth. Your characters had a history, and a reason why they met. And the supporting characters had some really touching material. In CoM, the village priestess is kidnapped, and all the village elders and warriors get together to discuss what must be done. Your character, who seems to have no real station in the village, voulenteers him/herself to go, and everyone is just like "bai. the potions shop is to your right on your way out of the village." Not even a "no, it's too dangerous!" or "let me teach you how to fight before you go." And that's only the first of many such oddities. Either the localization team has completely butchered and removed whatever insightful dialog existed, or it just never did.
Complete lack of story
Sort of ties in with my last point. At the end of each zone, you fight a boss monster, and someone comes out to tell you "good job" and give you the tiniest scrap of explanation and some artifact that allows you to access a new area of the game. You go back to the village, speak with the veteran, and he asks you to go scope out another crisis. Of the handful of zones I've been to, that's been the extent of it. Sidequests are available through a shop, but you never meet who you're helping, and the fun of discovering the sidequest is eliminated because they're just handed to you. So far (though I'm assuming this changes later), there are no towns to explore, and no benefits to talking to people.
Weak character development
And by character development, I mean level progression and the like. Most of your development happens through the aquisition of new weapons and armor, and the equipping of various gems you find. You can fuse gems together to create new gems with special powers. But that's pretty much it - no points to spend of any kind. All of your weapons and armor can be purchased from the shop, so questing for special weapons and armor is pointless. Furthermore, all wares have a level requirement, so apart from gems, there's no good way to max out a particular stat.
Shallow and frustrating gameplay elements
Your 8 espers exist, but you can only take one of them into a dungeon with you, as opposed to previous games, where you do work to find the mana, and then its unique powers are available to you through the rest of the game. You cannot access the weapons, armor, or gems you pick up while you're still in the dungeon, or swap out your esper, until you've reached a save point. Each dungeon has multiple levels, and if you leave or die, you have to start the dungeon over again (or simply restart your game from your save point if you reached one while in-dungeon). The new gameplay mechanics are not always explained in the best way, such that I had to actually look up how to use and switch my espers.
The only positives...
There are four weapons that allow you to complete some puzzle-aspects
in the dungeon, and you have the ability to dual-wield so you don't
have to keep switching weapons, which is nice. The graphics are cute - the whole game definitely looks just like a mana game, and there are even a few anime-style cutscenes. Your performance in each dungeon section is scored off how many monsters you kill, how many chests you find, and how fast you do it in - and from this, you can get special rewards. There's a multiplayer option, which is new and supposed to be pretty fun.
The lowdown
I was surprised to find this used so quickly, considering it only came out a short while ago, but now I see why. By itself, any one of these flaws wouldn't be enough to ruin the game, but this many annoyances and shortage of RP aspects together make it an almost worthless pursuit. It's fine for a dungeon crawl, but with so little rewards, why not just replay a more compelling dungeon crawl game? I recommend D2 for solo play, and Gauntlet, Zelda Four Swords, or FF Crystal Chronicles for really fantastic multi-player dungeoncrawl. And, if you're interested in how the Mana series is done well on a handheld, pick up Sword of Mana.
The first - and likely not the last - of my experiences with new recipes in the kitchen. These will probably be less of a review and more of a list of blunders!
I wanted to make this recipe for Thanksgiving dinner, but wasn't able to get to the grocery store until Thursday, so brining anything was right out. So Thursday morning I found this recipe instead and decided to give it a go.
For two people, this is a fantastic alternative to a full turkey dinner. There was twice as much as we could eat, but the leftovers kept decently.
Hens
The instructions for the game hen were perfect - they roasted beautifully, though I did modify by adding some chicken broth, covering with foil for the first half hour, spooning drippings and removing the foil for the last 20 minutes. I pierced the skin and inserted cloves - under the skin (horror show!) - into each joint, which made the chicken a little more savory, in my attempt to offset whatever sweetness the sauce would have.
Sauce
The grocery store was completely out of cranberries, so I gave Sam a choice between raspberries and cherries. I think the cherries would've been better, but he picked raspberries and I didn't modify the recipe at all. Like others, I had issues thickening the sauce, even after straining, but a teaspoon or so of corn starch took care of that amazingly fast. It was good, but belongs on a cake more than a chicken. I do want cranberries next time, for something less sweet.
Risotto
I've never made risotto before, just seen other people doing it incorrectly. The instructions seemed amazingly vague, and I had to keep adding tons of water. We didn't have any marscapone, so I did have to make my own with the suggested mix. I've never cooked yams without baking or boiling either, so I was skeptical of the sautee, but it worked beautifully with the generous amount of butter. The consistency was very ... rib-sticky, so it probably doesn't pass five-star standards, but that's probably my fault, and I loved it anyway.
Verdict? I loved it, and Sam said he couldn't decide which part - the hens or the risotto - was his favorite.
Casino Royale
Is not an extremely traditional James Bond flick. For anyone who's read the book, this isn't much of a surprise, it's just as it should be. Still, there were lots of groans from the general public when Daniel Craig was cast, but he doesn't do bad here. The movie's very stylish, but even a little dry for all of its dark content. For example: the opening credits made me tear up a little, as an appreciative graphic designer (just wow!), but there was not one sexy silhoetted babe. Heresy! There were plenty of cars-that-explode-on-impact, one very hot bond chick (not Bond's love interest for the movie, though), and our bad guy was an excellent suave creepy evil baddy. Bond's love interest was true love this time, but the chemistry was too intellectual to believe, and while very pretty, I can't say that she's the smoking hot babe that everyone believed her to be in the movie (I blame her makeup artist, mostly).
The whole thing might have suffered from being too faithful to the book, such that people started to gather their things and thought the movie was over, and it kept going for another hour.
When I was younger, I saw one of the Pierce Brosnan 007 movies with my family and my mother wouldn't stop laughing at the ridiculousness of it all. I - being a lover of good Bond films and a teenager - was embarrassed to the point of moving. But something really odd happened to me during Casino Royale. Every woman's worst nightmare - I became my mother. (Don't worry Mom, read on, you'll laugh.) I can't reveal the details, but I was so overcome with boredom at the romantic scenes that I came up with a MST3K-ish phrase to entertain myself: Montenegro Squashed Ball Recovery Centre. That was my favorite part of the whole movie, and it wasn't even in the movie. I was chuckling uncontrollably through the last parts of the movie, and this phrase will bring me and my friends joy for many years to come.
Cooking Mama (Gameboy DS)
There are several dozen cooking techniques to master, used with different ingredients and in different combinations in 76 recipes. Some of them are painfully, childishly easy ("chop the onion in half. yay, you did it!"), some are very hard to decipher (for no apparent reason, I suck at beating eggs), and some really take skill (I'm a master of the deep fryer, but only after messing with it for about half an hour). The gameplay for each recipe is so short, and the recipes that are unlocked are so nicely forked (no pun intended) that it's easy to sit down and lose yourself in it. Indeed, after several hours of gameplay in my one day of owning it, I've unlocked everything now, which is a little disappointing. But I'll still go back through the whole game and try to earn my gold star for each dish, as a boon to my womanly (geeky?) pride.
I did note that the Japanese dishes in this game seem to use an inordinate amount of ketchup. I hope real Japanese cooking is not this way.
Guitar Hero 2
Lauren: "What should I name my band?"
Sam: "How about Divastrummer?"
But, the game enforces resting for me. First, harder modes are actually HARD, so you can't just rip through everything. But most importantly, the game plays weird eye tricks on me because of the single perspective-point fretbar with the notes zooming toward the screen. Whenever I look away, everything around me gets distorted and wavy, and it makes me feel ill. (If you play World of Warcraft and have ever been to the spider boss in Zul Gurub - the drunken effect they have on your field of vision is exactly the same as what's happening to my eyesight. Except mine, of course, is in my real surroundings, and is much more alarming.) So, I fear my progress will be slow.
I wonder how soon it'll be until they combine a singing, guitar, and drumming game together? I guess I could just, you know, FORM A REAL BAND. But I can't write songs for shit. I still think it's an interesting idea.
If the title doesn't make you chuckle, you probably should not see the movie.
There's a lot of hype surrounding this - the movie's so overpromoted that it's difficult to find it funny or fresh at this point. And yet, it still is. There is definitely something about foreign (and I don't just mean international) humor that really appeals to me - the genuine "WTF? XD" factor. And even though I knew what to expect, I was still highly amused.
Sam aptly pointed out that the scripted bits are actually funnier than the unscripted bits. The unscripted bits being Borat's encounters with the unsuspecting US public, under the impression that they're contributing to a legitimate Kazak documentary.
The movie is extremely non-PC, so avoid it at all costs if you are. Of course, it's all in very obvious satire. (I actually have problems with racial comedy, but this seems ok to me because it's so blatantly incorrect.)
Unfortunately, so much was revealed in all the trailers and promos that you've seen a good 60% of the movie already. But the other 40% is still hillarious. And in some cases, very sad. (As we know too well, "regular folks" in the US are sometimes very hateful or ignorant, and they're represented in this movie too.)
As an added benefit, the movie stirred a deep curiosity in me about the "making of" the movie - just how much was scripted, and how much wasn't. Also, I used the internet later to learn the truth about Kazakhstan (from Wikipedia and others).
Running with Scissors
Running with Scissors is based on Augusten Burroughs' (some NY writer) biography. Augusten's unstable mother gives him up to her psychiatrist, whose life, family, and household are the most chaotic and unstructured environment you could possibly imagine.
Just how much is fiction and how much is truth doesn't matter one wit to me. The premise definetely seemed promising, but the movie was so scattered (and not as an artistic statement, I'm sure) that I couldn't really appreciate any of it. Whatever was funny was completely disconnected from the drama, which was equally sporadic. Lots of characters are introduced as a curiosity and never explored. Some of the things that might have been intended to be funny were just unsettling, or stupid. And through this all, you're wondering "how am I supposed to believe this is a 13 year old?"
You can't just cut and splice characters and tone together and expect a quirky cult success to occur. It's not enough to have a crazy setting, weird people, and funny dialogue. And, if drama is to be included, it has to be introduced in such a subtle way - it's not a faucet. There were a few entertaining scenes in the movie, and the occasional laugh, but overall, I pan it.
The long anticipated FFXII. Where to begin? This game was delayed forever, and apparently scrapped completely and redone at some point. And, fans of Final Fantasy have such high expectations, are so rabid that new releases are typically hated or adored withint minutes of hitting Japan.
Personally, I am not overwhelmed. Yet. Given that I'm only 20 hours in at this point, and the strategy guide weighs about 5 pounds, I think it might need more time. FFX certainly did. So I'm going to keep playing, but I'll give you my initial review.
The battle system for the game was so disputed, the original turn-based system being so adored. Rumors (and later, demos) that it'd be more like FFXI were not exactly welcome, as the enormous success of FFX did not translate well into the MMORPG release FFXI. As RP gamers, we like having the ability to carefully plan out each move. But after playing the demo and the game, I'm not one of those hardcore old school fans who won't be open to the change.
The battle system is intuitive, fast-paced and fun. Gambits allow you to program AIs for each character (cast heal when any ally has less than 50% life left). Movement adds a whole lot of new strategy to the gameplay, except the ability to kite mobs around to where you'd like them to be, plan proximity attacks, and avoid "adds" (additional monsters). The biggest advantage to a system like this is 1.) I don't have to keep entering "attack" every round, and 2.) I don't have to wait for a start/finish loading sequence every time a battle occurs. You can still pause and rearrange your gambits, take control of a specific character, or do whatever else you need to, as long as you're quick enough on the uptake. But because it's not turn-based, the ability for things to go horribly wrong before you're able to do anything about it is real, and probably frequent until you get used to it.
However, there are two major limiting factors to character development:
1.) Every skill purchased (except "augment" types, to increase attack power and such) requires that you also purchase a corresponding item from an item shop - this is true for techniques, magic, armor, and weapons. So, if you just purchased "first aid," you'd best also have a first aid technique purchased, or you won't be able to use it as soon as you'd like. I'm sure this is to limit people from going around killing every level 1 mob in sight to get every square on the board, but it's very unsatisfying to spend points in character development and only be able to use them 10 levels later.
2.) You can't see all the squares on the board, so unless you have a printout from a strategy guide, you could be going in the wrong direction for how you want to develop your character and not really know until hundreds of points have been spent. Of course, every time you purchase a skill, the adjacent squares are revealed, but it's hardly enough information to let you plan out your progression. Print out a grid, you will thank me for it.
As for the characters, the story, the graphics...
Right now, I'm not very impressed. The tone seems very epic, almost Star Wars-ish, but is so far very dry and without humor. The characters are not especially interesting, with a few exceptions. They're stereotypical, and without depth at this point. In fact, the character models actually LOOK really familiar, which I find very stupid. I understand that they're trying to do a nice political intrigue story, but right now, it's not too engaging.
The graphics are a little disappointing - two years after FFX and they haven't improved much. In fact, the rendered graphics look *worse* than FFX, in my opinion. The lighting effects are better, and the FMVs are slightly prettier, but it's not amazing. This might also be a limitation of the PS2.
In any event, I don't think that it's at the top of the FF series - by far. The argument for which Final Fantasy is better will still be split between FFVII and FFX - XII seems like it will have a nice standing, but is still not in the running for the best evair. I really have to wonder what is so revolutionary about the game that they had to scrap the whole initial project for.
Marie Antionette
Marie Antionette offers none of these things. Nor did I expect it to. It takes a very special person to make a movie that is so boldly a fluffy art piece like this. It's not that it's simply a costumed romp, because important events are followed to some degree. But just as they might have been in the young queen's life, they're touched on in a linear, almost journal-like fashion: things happen, for bad or ill, and life goes on like a whirligig, almost entirely unimpacted. So a semblance of "plot" or "story" is really not present in the way moviegoers expect it to be.
I believe the execution of this movie is an excellent reflection of the opulence, escapism, and helplessness of Marie Antionette's inevitable station. It's difficult to like a movie that is as seemingly superficial as the infamous subject, but I do, and greatly. It's a bold artistic statement that not everyone is going to get or like. That, along with the fabulous costumes, set, and soundtrack (how perfect that France's era of royal decadence is paired with our decade of materialism), are the two biggest assets to the movie. And unfortunately, most people will miss or disagree with me on the idea of this movie as an art piece.
So, if you are attached to the idea of a more traditional storytelling experience, pass on it. If you love period pieces but you still want a grand story, maybe watch it with headphones on. Those of you who have no expectations whatsoever will probably love it as much as I did.
The Prestige
Firstly, the story is a little stupid. Two magicians trying to discover each others' secrets - which you'd think could be sophisticated and nicely done with this particular cast. But for whatever reason, the focus is not only on these men and their characters, but all of the cool tricks they did, and dozens of small mysteries. Some of the aspects of magic were so cliche, trying so hard, that they might as well have had the men twirling their moustaches.
Worse, so many of the relationships in the movie were disconnected. I couldn't see how any of the women could love the men, or vice versa. Scarlett Johanson is in extreme danger of being forever typecast (or, as long as her youth will allow) as "the emotionally immature mistress" after her 5th or 6th role like this within the past 3 years. Both actors play complex characters that are constantly - thus unbelieveably - intense. Thank goodness the supporting cast was spared this treatment, to some extent. Bowie and Caine were some of the only enjoyable parts of the movie for me.
There are so many twists and turns in the plot that I felt like certain parts might lend themselves better to Mexican soap operas. Also, a few serious, glaring plot holes that even a story-forgiving person like myself couldn't help but feel perplexed by.
I think the problem might be poor editing. The mood and continuity of the movie was so scattered that the entire thing lacked any focus and completely lost me. There were supernatural bits too - which will kill the movie for many people, but I assure you that's not the root of my gripe. Many people walked out of the movie, discussing how proud they felt that they were able to follow the plot. I had no troubles, but I have to wonder about the average viewer, and the popularity that this movie might see just because it's perceived as "smart," when it's anything but.
What are your top 25 most played songs?
Submitted by Cooxie.
Over the span of nearly 2 years, I've let Audioscrobbler take tally on this for me. Though I'm pretty sure that the playcount is a little obscured by my lack of shuffle sometimes.
The result:
